Somewhat of a live blog.

Charles Barkley - Great Analyst, or the Greatest Analyst?

First of all, I hope people had the chance to watch the inside the nba halftime show for the magic-detriot game. Poor Chuck had no idea what was going on - and this was for his special feature during the show. His own segment. I mean, if Charles has no idea what’s going on for his unique feature, is there any chance of him ever knowing what kenny and ernie are talking about? Unlikely. But perhaps it’s better that way. Let’s examine some of Charles greatest moments:

Charles Barkley learns about contractions

So ummm…yeah. Not really much to add to this. I think his frank admission about his attendance at class was the best part. According to a very reliable source (lisaleslieftw) indicated that Charles Barkley intends to run for governor of alabama sometime in the next decade. I mean, it’s Alabama and all, but still. It appears that Barkley might run for mayor. Shouldn’t there be some type of basic proficiency test for elected officials to pass? Isn’t basic elementary school grammar necessary for any government position?

SCREW IT. BARKLEY FOR GOVERNOR! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

Next up, we got Charles Barkley, the donut connoisseur.

I think my favorite part was: “WE HAVE A WINNA!”

this one is for a certain contributing member of this blog. This certain member (I would like to protect his/her identity, due to possible embarrassment resulting from his blatant homerism bias regarding a certain college in a certain small state that may have produced a certain basketball player known for a certain amazing pickup game basketball move.) Lamar Odom = Not Good.

Phil Jackson’s expression is priceless. Absolute disgust. What I really want to know is if Odom tried to argue that call. What ref? What was wrong with that? are you effin blind?

And lastly, but certainly not least, Charles Barkley vs. the scale.

This one’s kinda long, but the payoff’s definitely worth it. Highlights = “Maaaan…this scale ain’t right”, barkley’s entourage as he walks to the scale (anyone figure out what they’re saying? i can’t really hear that), and of course…”SHUT THE HELL UP KENNY”, “I’m not gonna be fat anymore, I’ve been fat long enough”

ahh…classic. i used to switch to other things during tnt halftimes; i’ve definitely learned my lesson. inside the nba’s value sky rockets every time charles barkley offers us a nugget of information.

semblance of a live blog.

well…this post was supposed to be a live blog of the magic-pistons game. unfortunately, it looks like the wheels started coming off midway through the 3rd quarter. i like it though, magic are definitely showing some fight. not being intimidated by the pistons. i really hate the detroit pistons. i think the only way i can explain it is that they act/think they’re so much better than they actually are. you always hear about how the pistons turn on/turn off the switch, play down to their opposition. no. the pistons are just not that good. fact. WAIT….WHAAAAAT!?!?!? WE interrupt this post with a J.J. sighting. WTF!?!? ummm…whateves. and jj promptly picks up a foul in <2 seconds of playing time. Anyway, the best way to describe the pistons is that they’re like that one dude in a pickup basketball game at the gym - you know who i’m talking about. it’s that kid with the air jordan real basketball shoes, the mad cool basketball shorts, usually a sleeveless jersey of sorts. he acts like he’s really good, when in fact his game consists of continual isolations, falling away jumpers that always miss badly, and little to no defense. known for continually instructing others on the team on the finer points of basketball (Note - another jj miscue - completely disregarded his defensive rotation, allowing an easy dunk under the basket; great drafting magic, great drafting. franz vazquez and jj reddick = WHERE AMAZING HAPPENS); this player also likes to hold up random fists and call pseudo offensive plays, which somehow always end up with him hoisting up an off balance 3, and feigning absolute disbelief/flopping backwards and calling a foul when it invariably misses. (end rant).

so the point is = detroit sucks, they’re overrated, and i really want the magic to win.
eagles draft recap

well, the nfl draft just finished up last weekend. let’s recap the important events. and by important events, i mean one of the eagles’ draft picks.

First of all, absolutely swindling carolina, parlaying a few pick increase into several picks was huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge. but the pick i’m most excited about is the 49th selection of desean jackson. this pick was great, besides the fact that poor mcnabb has been asking begging for a wide receiver for what seems like forever. so what do the eagles do? answer his pleas by drafting kelvin kolb (random?) and trading for asante samuel. great job. gold f*#^*ng star for management. however, desean jackson is not projected to be a great wide receiver. he will provide immediate help for the eagles’ return game. here’s an artist rendering of our punt returns last year:

as you can see, things can’t get much worse.

(Final note - JJ’s unofficial line: <5 minutes PT, 0 rebounds, 0 assists, 0 points, 0/2 fg, including 1 jumper with <10 seconds in a blowout game, and a horrendous defensive rotation). it’s alrite, i’m starting to agree with shammgod’s prediction that we will soon see jj on the duke bench.