Callin out the Sports Guy

Look, a lot of people don’t like Bill Simmons because they want to be him. But others don’t like him because he makes ridiculous and weird hollywood references and pretends they are jokes, or good analysis, or… something.

Meanwhile, the Suns were like the John Belushi of basketball teams — thrilling, creative, inventive and loved by all, but ultimately, they couldn’t sustain what they were doing for more than a couple of years, and by the time it came to a screeching halt, we were already wishing that things could return to the way they were three years before. Like Belushi, the Suns were critically acclaimed. Like Belushi (drugs), the Suns had an Achilles’ heel (Robert Sarver). Like Belushi, the Suns tried to change their style near the end and it didn’t work out. Like Belushi, we will remember the Suns fondly, and every time we see one of their old classic moments popping up on TV, we’ll probably watch.

Lets jump right to the most egregious offense. Simmons compares drugs to Robert Sarver. But its easy to see his point, Belushi killed himself because of drugs and the Suns lost because they had a bad managing partner. And I mean it’s not even really Belushi’s fault, so many of those great comedians died from an overdose of Robert Sarvers that its hard to blame him. I mean, an overdose of drugs. Or is it Sarver? There so close to the same thing I mistype sometimes. Too bad its too late to go back and erase it.

The rest of the analogy is also messed up and weird but we’ll leave it alone.