NFL games to be sterilized?

Put down the beer, and nobody gets hurt

If you thought NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is only cracking down on players, you’re in for a surprise: the NFL just released the new fan code of conduct. Here are things now banned from games that will result in an ejection:

• Behavior that is unruly, disruptive, or illegal.

aaaaand at the first bullet point, all Eagles fans are now banned from attending NFL games.

• Drunkenness and signs of alcohol impairment that result in irresponsible behavior.

aaaaand all fans anywhere close to 21 years old are now banned.

• Foul or abusive language or obscene gestures.

Well, now everyone is banned.

• Interference with the progress of the game, including throwing objects onto the field.

I’m pretty sure this has always resulted in an ejection, although it’s nice to have a streaking “official” for a change of pace every once in a while.

• Failing to follow instructions of stadium personnel.

This is like making a rule that says “you must follow all the other rules”.

• Verbal or physical harassment of fans from the opposing team.

With this I’m even banned from watching a game in the common room. Shiiiiit, that’s not happening.

• Fans must be completely silent at all times and clap only when someone scores.

Kidding – but at least it’s not like golf or tennis… yet.

But no need to worry: it’s safe to assume each team’s own security guys are supposed to enforce these rules. If you think they’re going to kick fans out of their own stadium and decrease the “12th man effect”, you’re crazy. I say we’re all safe… for now.