Raddy FOR THREEEEE!!!

…steps.

Not that I enjoy ciritcizing, but I have to question socal’s love of “Radman.”  But I kinda like relaxed players, so I actually kinda like Vlad.  He may be “garbage” as eagles said a few days ago, but I think he’s likable.  In a crazy way.

This is Old

But I just had to post it.  Lamar Odom is always great.

Free throws

One of the coolest things to me is when you’re selecting the teams for a pickup game and you have an extra guy, so the last two guys shoot free throws and the first one to miss doesn’t get to play.  Hence, this scene is pretty cool (go to about 2 minutes in).  Closest I’ve gotten is making 3 in a row.  The other guy made four.  The other guy was eagles.  F U eagles!

This Post is Like a George Gervin Hook Shot

You don’t have to watch this video. It barely has anything to do with sports.  Nevertheless…

O, Keith Obermann you patronizingly haughty bastard you.  Do you have to use the word “sanguine”?  Even if you use it correctly you sound like an a-hole.

Anyway I post this because, well, can we stop using inappropriate sports metaphors/similes for things?  I don’t care how much Obama “owned” this reporter, it wasn’t comparable to a “Kobe Bryant… reverse 360 windmill tomohawk jam.”  One is politics and one is sports.

I realize we like to compare things we may not know much about (politics- certainly for me) to things we do understand, and in the end this post is nitpicky as hell, but still, cmon.

If Kobe Bryant ever pulled off a 360 windmill tomohawk jam in a game on some dude face that would be one of the greatest basketball highlights in the history of the game. I don’t think an answer at a random press conference is one of the most important things a US President has ever done.

I want Obermann to go back to when he commented on sports and when he went crazy with his supercilliousness and his huge words it was almost a joke, because he was using those words and talking about sports.  Now that he’s talking about politics he almost can’t help but be taken seriously.  And now he seems like a jackass instead of a funny sarcastic guy.

A Short Story

“The Day the Point Guard Lived”

by: The Other Shammgod

Deron Williams is sleeping.  An alarm goes off.  Then another.  Then another until 6 alarms are going off.  He opens his eyes.

Deron smiles as he turns off each one.  “You never can be too careful!” he exclaims.  His cat that he keeps on a leash rolls its eyes.

Deron jumps in his car.  It’s a 1998 toyota corolla. “They don’t make them like that anymore!” he tells his friends.  He wears two seatbelts like the racecar drivers do.

He walks up the steps to the training room.  He wants just a light workout before the game that night.  He holds onto the railings with both hands as he reaches the weight room.

“What’ll it be today?” his trainer queries.

“Same old, same old,” says Deron.  “If it worked before why change it right?”

“Sure, I guess,” mumbles his trainer as he walks away to get the same plain barbels Deron always uses.  “You want anything to drink?”

“Water’s fine,” says Deron.

Carlos Boozer approaches.  “Hey Deron, after the game do you wanna go try that new Texas Roadhouse that just opened up about a mile away?”

“No thanks,” says Deron.  He makes his own food.  Bread, water, occasionally chicken or chicken noodle soup.  He never uses salt.  Or pepper.  Or any spices, ever.

With two hours to game time Deron pulls out his favorite book to relax: The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemmingway. The short, choppy, yet meaningful and well written sentences bring a calm to Deron.  Something about it feels like home.

It’s game time.  Deron puts on his headphones to listen to his game time warm up song.  It’s something by Coldplay.  The repetitive two or three chords get him in the right state of mind for the game.  Mehmet Okur hears the song and laughs, but Deron doesn’t care.

Deron puts up another workmanlike performance during the game.  20 points 11 assists, and as few turnovers as possible.  He might have been able to get 13-15 assists, but that would have meant 2 or 3 more turnovers.  That wouldn’t be worth it.

Deron smiles as he remembers one specific play.  He drove the lane and the defender was right on him.  He saw Carlos cutting to the basket on his left, but he knew he would have to throw a behind the back pass in order to have room to get it off.  He decided to give it to Paul Millsap who hit a 16 foot jumper.  A team play.  A mature play.

When Deron gets back to his house later that night he makes sure to turn all the lights off in his house.  He unplugs his cell phone charger and then jumps into bed at 10:30…

Then Chris Paul wakes up.

“I just had the worst nightmare!” he tells the three women in bed with him.

“We told you that you shouldn’t have drunk all that before you went to bed!” one of the girls cries.

Chris grins widely.

“Worth it.”

You know what’s cool?

This intro by shaq

Almost as cool as the beach.  Have we been over this already?

She’s a Screamer!

This is really old, but I need to post and I figured everyone would get a kick out of it.

This is what happens when a retired F1 driver runs a lap with his wife and a candid camera. The expression on his face through the whole thing is priceless:

MAMA MIAAAAAA!!!!

Trash Talk 101

Beaches are good to go to and stuff.

Ah, the beach.  Sometimes people just need to chill out and relax.  The beach is a good place for this.  The beach is a good place for lots of things.  Also cool?  Hanging near a beach, not even necessarily on the beach, but on the beach if you want to.  You get the point.

Anyway, I bring this up because Grievous Vasquez needs to “go to a beach” or some sort of happy place.  He was owned trash-talking style by Memphis’ Pierre Henderson-Niles. Grievous basically said that Memphis sucked.  Pierre responded:

We really ain’t talked too much about Maryland. We watched a little film on ‘em one time, and I know they got a good player — I don’t know his name — but he good or whatever, so we just going to try to do what we do and stop him. I ain’t never seen them; I know they got one good player, Sanchez or something like that; whatever his name is.

He pretended to not know his name (or maybe he actually didn’t know his name).  This is the best way to trash talk. Pierre is not “stupid” and won’t wonder how many “touchdowns” the other team is scoring.  Y’all know what I’m referencing here.  I don’t need to link that shit.

So props to you Pierre.  You won.  You also beat Maryland in the game, which I guess matters also.  Weird how many ACC teams were knocked off so early.

I Don’t Like This Rule Change

I guess they don’t call goaltending in the NBA anymore.

And Now… A Picture

This is a metaphor for what Maya Moore and the UConn Women’s team are going to do to everyone in the NCAA tournament.  And Courtney Paris is going to have to pay her scholarship back.

Also, Paris has a see through left arm.