Easily the best thing you’ll read today

CapitalSports has already documented just how awesome Redskins TE Chris Cooley is. His blog is the only pro athlete blog that I subscribe to. It’s not just because I live in DC and am a die-hard Redskins fan, either. His blog is one of the most incredibly entertaining* on the net, sports or otherwise. He’s such a personality.

For example, this account of his experience attending a high school lacrosse game and his thoughts on women’s lacrosse.  How could you read that and not smile the entire time?

 

*though it’s still a few notches behind We Talkin’ ‘Bout Practice

That old debate

If the team you root for is eliminated in the playoffs, do you root for or do you root against the team that eliminated you?

My theory is that you should root for the team that eliminated yours (if you even continue caring — I often don’t). If that team plays a closer match with your team than with any other opponents down the line, then you can argue that your team was the true runner-up.

The biggest exception to this rule is if the team that eliminates you is your team’s rival. If that’s the case, you obviously root for them to be eliminated as soon as possible. Thus, I hope the Penguins are absolutely squashed by the Red Wings. I ****ing hate the mother****ing piece of **** Penguins and hope Sidney Crosby doesn’t score a point all series.

Look at the Momentum!!

Lolz

Congrats, ACC Champions!!!

Congratulations to the Virginia baseball team, unlikely ACC Baseball Champions. And everyone said this was supposed to be a rebuilding year, too. It’s been my pleasure watching you and covering you all season. 

[PS: I know what's coming. Someone's going to criticize this post because it's about college baseball, which most people presume is stupid and unimportant because ESPN doesn't cover it 24/7. Well, how many of you bashers have been to a game? Ever followed a team for a couple weeks or seen every game in a good ACC Baseball series? It works for the same reason college basketball works: It's less about egos and more about teams. Did you know that the greatest Cinderella story in college sports history happened in baseball just last year? I read the Washington Post sports section every day, and the entire series got just a paragraph mention. Ridiculous. College baseball needs more love. I predict that the next MLB commissioner will put in an age limit like the NBA has, and there will be an upswing in interest in the college game.]

Good shot, but seriously…

… How does Lebron only get 4 rebounds?  How does he get less than 8 rebounds ever?

It was an amazing and really cool shot, but he only had to make it because of his earlier mistakes (and a few teammates’ mistakes). Give Lebron credit for admitting he traveled with 30 seconds left– still about 2 steps less than this shot.  If he doesn’t turn the ball over 6 times, they probably cruise to a win.

Just wanted to put up a quick counterpoint to everyone who is gonna be lovin Lebron for the next 48 hours.  I mean, he ruined Hedo time!  That’s not allowed to happen.

And it’s still not the best playoff buzzerbeater hit in Cleveland…

400 posts of Talkin’ ‘Bout Practice: a reader’s perspective

Though I’m now somewhat of a writer of this blog, I’ve spent most of the past year or two as a reader of the blog. It’s been one of my favorites, I’m a little bit ashamed to say. With four hundred posts now notched on the blog’s belt (is that even a figure of speech?), here are some of the things I’ve learned from these five wise writers:

• Cheerleader pictures, even if they’re unrelated, make everything better.
• If you include a big picture or video, readers won’t notice that you didn’t actually write anything. (They might even prefer it that way.)
• If you include the name of a popular/attractive female athlete (essentially synonyms) or cheerleader  along with any of the words ‘pics,’ ‘nude,’ ‘bikini,’ or ‘tattoo,’ you’ll get thousands and thousands of site hits from skeeve-balls. Like the writers of this blog.
• It’s okay to discuss repeatedly one college and to act college-aged, but don’t you dare suggest that any of these writers, well-guarded behind believable aliases, might attend that college!
• No matter how often you get it wrong, you’ll get it right eventually.
• Over-linking is tedious and taxing to read, but occasionally very effective and even moving.
• A funny or minimalist or intriguing or bizarre or awesome or unbelievable headline is essential. It can even forgive an insubstantial or absolutely terrible post.
• Sometimes only WTF ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? is a valid response after reading a blog post.
• There is such a thing as too much talk about Derrick Rose, but no such thing as too much talk about Candace.
• If a bunch of ragtag and underqualified writers put their thoughts down often enough with enough effort and consistency, a few genuinely interesting and thought-provoking ideas will emerge.
• Lastly, and most importantly, these are the wisest words in the English language: “I love women. I love basketball. I love women’s basketball.”

Shamm, thanks for always writing, even the posts are short and you whine a lot. Capital, thanks for hating the Cowboys and for coming up with good post ideas. SoCal, thanks for bringing some legit knowledge to the blog. Eags, thanks for making me appreciate D-Mac a little bit more and hate Philly a little bit less. FingerWag, thanks for having an awesome screen-name.  Here’s to another several hundred more rambly, aimless posts.

Kornheiser makes one too many bald joke, gets fired from MNF

Despite the snarky post title, this article is actually pretty pro-TK with no attempt at being funny.

As a lifelong reader of The Washington Post and fan of PTI from its earliest days, I’m a huge fan of Tony Kornheiser. I like him too much and know him too well to honestly evaluate him as a commentator, so I won’t make any claims as to whether he’s good or bad, but will say I always enjoyed listening to him.

It’s bittersweet to see him leave what was perhaps his most prestigious and high profile position. He’s one of the few non-broadcast types to ever be offered the position, so it was an unusual fit for him, but one I supported. I liked that he got a big opportunity. On the other hand, he might have more time for his always-excellent radio show. If I get super-lucky, maybe he’ll write a column or two for the Post.

At least we still have PTI.

Parker births baby girl. Aspiring women’s basketball infants everywhere weep, clamor for bottle.

A new generation of Candace is upon us, and somehow it took this blog, these six rabid Parker fans, five days to report it. Sorry, We Talkin’ ‘Bout Practice readers, all dozens of you.

No picture or name is available, but I’ve read a few places that the baby weighed 7 lbs. 6 oz. at birth with a height of 20 inches. No word on what colleges are at the top of baby Candace’s list, though analysts’ early predictions are that she’ll pick Tennessee when commitment day rolls around eighteen years from now.

Perhaps most incredible, Parker will probably not miss a day of the WNBA season. She continued working out through the night before the birth, and has said in interviews that she’ll get back to the gym and the Sparks’ recently-opened training camp as soon as her physician gives her the OK.

Here’s hoping that the reigning MVP is also a MVM (most valuable mom), too. Best wishes, Candace!

Magic trick Green; headlines reign supreme

I’ve been a bad sports fan this past week. The NBA and NHL are playing thrilling playoffs, baseball is just starting to heat up, and college lacrosse playoffs are on TV, yet I’ve probably only watched an hour of sports in the past seven days. Even ESPN Classic, my favorite boredom buster, has received little love from me.

I don’t have any substantial input to make right now, but saying nothing this morning would be a shame, considering the Celtics were eliminated last night, so I’ll just discuss one fringe benefit of the game last night: reading a cornucopia of ridiculous headlines from the clever to the painful. When you have a reigning champion, big-time program, lose to a team named The Magic, headline-smiths around the world get excited.  Here are a few column and article headlines:

• Celtics disappear
• Cruel trick
• Turkoglu reappears just in time for Magic
• Green done in by lanky point forward
• Helpless against this firing squad
• Alpha-Bits and empty tanks
• Stars not aligned for C’s this time around
• No. 18 will have to wait
• Orlando Magic make history with rout of Boston Celtics
• In game 7, Celtics run out of Magic
• Van Gundy, Magic make naysayers disappear
• Magic show: C’s run finished
• Hounded by Magic defense, Pierce is unable to deliver
• Celtics fall for Magic tricks
• Two of Big Three not enough
• Superman Dwight Howard comes to Magic’s rescue
• Allen gave it his best shot

But, once I saw the Yahoo Sports headline, I knew we had a winner:

• Magic to appear at King’s court

Congrats, Yahoo! Your prize is being an increasingly irrelevant Internet corporation.

Is Caps-Pens a better series than Celtics-Bulls?

I don’t doubt for a second that Bulls-Celtics was one of the tightest, most thrilling playoff series in recent memory. Here are a few reasons why Caps-Pens might be just as or even more  incredible a series, as crazy as that sounds.

1. Celtics-Bulls lacked a true superstar. Lots of dazzling talent on both sides, but no Kobes or LeBrons. Of the players on the court with KG injured, you could probably only make a case for Paul Pierce being one of the top ten or fifteen stars in the league. Caps-Pens, on the other hand, has the top three leading points scorers in the game, and arguably the three best/most exciting players in the game. Each of the three — Ovie, Sid the Kid, and Malkin — has a shot to go down as the best of his era.
2. The Capitals and Penguins hate each other. The Caps hate the Pens because Pittsburgh seems to always win. It’s like Cowboys-Redskins in the nineties only not quite so horrific. The Caps both look forward to and dread match-ups with Steel City. The Penguins hate the Caps because of Alexander Ovechkin, who always picks on Pittsburgh stars Malkin and Crosby.  Both teams circle the games against the other on their calendars. The Cetlics and Bulls are historically important teams, but they’re not much of rivals.
3. Celtics-Bulls lacked a player-player rivalry as intense and interesting as Ovechkin-Crosby. The Great Eight is a trash-talking, physically dominating, jaw-dropping, acrobatic hockey player. He’s got more pure handling and shooting talent than Sidney Crosby, whom the city of Pittsburgh absolutely adores. Ovechkin, with his ugly mug and fractured smile, always pushes Crosby around and gets in Sid’s pretty little face. Crosby, on the other hand, has led his team further down the playoff road than Ovie has, and is a bit more popular and recognized, though Ovechkin is gaining ground. They have opposing styles: Crosby’s more of a passer and positioner. Classy and traditional. Ovechkin storms the net and slinks the puck around all sorts of defenders. Flashy and explosive.
4. It’s one thing to talk about how talented a player like Ovechkin supposedly is. It’s another thing for him to actually produce: His eleven points after five games had already tied a Caps postseason points record for a single series. With last night’s two-assist performance, he’s got the franchise record, and he’s got another game to push it even farther. 
5. You can’t make up something like Game 2 of Caps-Pens. Crosby and Ovechkin each score a hat trick but Washington’s Steckel gives the Caps a 4-3 edge. Its sheer, phenomenal star power made it almost as impressive a game as Bulls-Celtics Game 6.
6. The Caps-Pens series has been almost as close and back-and-forth as the Celtics-Bulls one was. Granted, we don’t have any triple overtimes, but we do have a shot to have as many games go to overtime as Boston and Chicago did. Every game except one has been a one-point edge or overtime game in the series. There have been late game twists and lead changes galore.
7. Hockey on TV has a lot of stuff going against it. It’s frustrating to try and follow the puck. The plain helmets and jerseys remove a lot of the personality of the game as you watch it. But it’s flukey, low-scoring games make for more tense sports entertainment, especially in the playoffs. Basketball is a sport won through consistency and damage control. The team that makes the fewest errors — and lets those errors affect score the least — will likely win the game. Hockey is all about making that one great or lucky shot. You never know when it’s going to come, which makes it all the more gripping from opening whistle to closing buzzer.