Barkley’s serious side

When I look back on this summer, I think I’ll remember one thing – me discovering the awesomeness that is Charles Barkley. I could tell you about the time I spent about 4 hours on youtube, searching for all of his highlights from inside the nba (note: the one where he kisses kenny’s ass is priceless; reggie miller’s analysis of the tnt vs. espn crew was also pretty sweet; and especially, the queer eye for the straight guy one. but anyway). I also watched some of Barkley’s highight mixes on youtube. Quality time wasted. Learned he was also known as the “the round mound of the rebound.” I gained a lot more respect for Barkley when I found out he’s actually like 6’4”. That’s crazy considering the way he played. But this week’s news about Barkley’s alleged gambling debt made me respect Sir Charles even more.

A Las Vegas Casino sued Barkley for him to repay $400,000.

That link has a video of Barkley while on Inside the NBA. I think it’s actually a pretty interesting video to watch. I thought it was big of him to talk about this issue so publicly. Barkley admitted that he had the debt and took full responsibility for his mistake. Barkley also said that he would attempt to give up gambling because of this incident.

“For right now, the next year or two, I’m not going to gamble,” he said. “Just because I can afford to lose money doesn’t mean I should do it.”

Barkley acknowledged that this would be a difficult process: “It’s like a fat person on a diet. This sucks.”

Damn. Charles Barkley…you are the man.

Charles Barkley has a fat ass, and the changing of the coaches

Hey guys, first post. Been busy so haven’t had much time to drop some lines.

Also, if you haven’t seen this already take a look. Charles describes how he was so successful in the NBA, his fat ass:

So D’Antoni to the Knicks is a done deal today, and Carlisle to the Mavs was locked up and confirmed by Cuban a while ago. I know these all seem like improvements for the teams but I don’t really see the Mavs noticeably improving under Carlisle. Everyone thinks that the Mavs had their one shot against DWade and the Big Cactus and I’m not one to disagree. Their window of opportunity is pretty much closed. After two more seasons it will probably become painfully clear that Avery was doing a really good job of shoring up whatever holes that ship had.

D’Antoni has a far more favorable position in New York: even if Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry can’t run and gun like he likes, he still gets paid big bucks. Also, he’s lucky because the Knicks have been so bad that it’s really hard seeing them get any worse. Hopefully the team is improved to get some more balance between the conferences. I’d also like to see Avery end up in Chicago, just to see if he can turn that team around.

I’m wondering who the Suns are going to pick up to replace D’Antoni. Steve Nash will have a hard time playing a half court game and his defensive flaws will be really exposed under a slower, more methodical coach. The man may be a machine, but he’s a really old creaky one too.

Somewhat of a live blog.

Charles Barkley – Great Analyst, or the Greatest Analyst?

First of all, I hope people had the chance to watch the inside the nba halftime show for the magic-detriot game. Poor Chuck had no idea what was going on – and this was for his special feature during the show. His own segment. I mean, if Charles has no idea what’s going on for his unique feature, is there any chance of him ever knowing what kenny and ernie are talking about? Unlikely. But perhaps it’s better that way. Let’s examine some of Charles greatest moments:

Charles Barkley learns about contractions

So ummm…yeah. Not really much to add to this. I think his frank admission about his attendance at class was the best part. According to a very reliable source (lisaleslieftw) indicated that Charles Barkley intends to run for governor of alabama sometime in the next decade. I mean, it’s Alabama and all, but still. It appears that Barkley might run for mayor. Shouldn’t there be some type of basic proficiency test for elected officials to pass? Isn’t basic elementary school grammar necessary for any government position?

SCREW IT. BARKLEY FOR GOVERNOR! YES WE CAN! YES WE CAN!

Next up, we got Charles Barkley, the donut connoisseur.

I think my favorite part was: “WE HAVE A WINNA!”

this one is for a certain contributing member of this blog. This certain member (I would like to protect his/her identity, due to possible embarrassment resulting from his blatant homerism bias regarding a certain college in a certain small state that may have produced a certain basketball player known for a certain amazing pickup game basketball move.) Lamar Odom = Not Good.

Phil Jackson’s expression is priceless. Absolute disgust. What I really want to know is if Odom tried to argue that call. What ref? What was wrong with that? are you effin blind?

And lastly, but certainly not least, Charles Barkley vs. the scale.

This one’s kinda long, but the payoff’s definitely worth it. Highlights = “Maaaan…this scale ain’t right”, barkley’s entourage as he walks to the scale (anyone figure out what they’re saying? i can’t really hear that), and of course…”SHUT THE HELL UP KENNY”, “I’m not gonna be fat anymore, I’ve been fat long enough”

ahh…classic. i used to switch to other things during tnt halftimes; i’ve definitely learned my lesson. inside the nba’s value sky rockets every time charles barkley offers us a nugget of information.

semblance of a live blog.

well…this post was supposed to be a live blog of the magic-pistons game. unfortunately, it looks like the wheels started coming off midway through the 3rd quarter. i like it though, magic are definitely showing some fight. not being intimidated by the pistons. i really hate the detroit pistons. i think the only way i can explain it is that they act/think they’re so much better than they actually are. you always hear about how the pistons turn on/turn off the switch, play down to their opposition. no. the pistons are just not that good. fact. WAIT….WHAAAAAT!?!?!? WE interrupt this post with a J.J. sighting. WTF!?!? ummm…whateves. and jj promptly picks up a foul in <2 seconds of playing time. Anyway, the best way to describe the pistons is that they’re like that one dude in a pickup basketball game at the gym – you know who i’m talking about. it’s that kid with the air jordan real basketball shoes, the mad cool basketball shorts, usually a sleeveless jersey of sorts. he acts like he’s really good, when in fact his game consists of continual isolations, falling away jumpers that always miss badly, and little to no defense. known for continually instructing others on the team on the finer points of basketball (Note – another jj miscue – completely disregarded his defensive rotation, allowing an easy dunk under the basket; great drafting magic, great drafting. franz vazquez and jj reddick = WHERE AMAZING HAPPENS); this player also likes to hold up random fists and call pseudo offensive plays, which somehow always end up with him hoisting up an off balance 3, and feigning absolute disbelief/flopping backwards and calling a foul when it invariably misses. (end rant).

so the point is = detroit sucks, they’re overrated, and i really want the magic to win.
eagles draft recap

well, the nfl draft just finished up last weekend. let’s recap the important events. and by important events, i mean one of the eagles’ draft picks.

First of all, absolutely swindling carolina, parlaying a few pick increase into several picks was huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge. but the pick i’m most excited about is the 49th selection of desean jackson. this pick was great, besides the fact that poor mcnabb has been asking begging for a wide receiver for what seems like forever. so what do the eagles do? answer his pleas by drafting kelvin kolb (random?) and trading for asante samuel. great job. gold f*#^*ng star for management. however, desean jackson is not projected to be a great wide receiver. he will provide immediate help for the eagles’ return game. here’s an artist rendering of our punt returns last year:

as you can see, things can’t get much worse.

(Final note – JJ’s unofficial line: <5 minutes PT, 0 rebounds, 0 assists, 0 points, 0/2 fg, including 1 jumper with <10 seconds in a blowout game, and a horrendous defensive rotation). it’s alrite, i’m starting to agree with shammgod’s prediction that we will soon see jj on the duke bench.