The WNBA Playoffs on…(insert cable network here)

It’s been nearly two months (July 24th is the exact date) that we’ve posted about women’s basketball not including Sarah Palin talk or CP3’s relative good-looking-ness. Forgive me if I don’t really count those, but that’s just inexcusable that a blog that prides itself on expecting great would devote this little attention to our game.

So let’s talk about the playoffs.

THE FAVORITES:

San Antonio had the best record in the league and is an odds-on favorite to capture the franchise’s first title. The Silver Stars seamlessly regrouped following the Olympic break, and everyone’s favorite Russian national is ready to bounce back from a disappointing conference finals exit-on San Antonio’s homecourt-to the Monarchs. If the Stars make it out of the West, look out – they went 14-0 against the Eastern Conference this year, including a 2-0 mark against…

Becky Hammon and Katie Smith look to lead their No. 1-seeded teams into the Finals

The Shock. The 2006 Champions would love to erase the memory of their runner-up finish in 2007. The offensive tandem of Deanna Nolan and Smith is fearsome and Cheryl Ford and Taj McWilliams-Franklin pose a formidable threat on the boards. Detroit has recovered well (5-1 to close season) from a four-game nosedive leading into the break-capped off by a double-digit loss to the Silver Stars-and have perhaps the most experience of any Eastern Conference squad. And for a feel good story, McWilliams-Franklin holds the title of “Most Deserving Veteran to Never Win a WNBA Title”, or at the very least, is one of the frontrunners for the crown.

THE DARK HORSE:

But while the experts peg both conference leaders to meet for the title, we love to offer dissenting opinions. And the media should know better than to count out any team that has Candace Parker. The presumable Rookie of the Year after leading the league in rebounds at 9.6 a game (2 rebounds more than the next best rookie Sylvia Fowles)-no easy task since her frontcourt

Can CP3 complete the trifecta in 2008? The experts say no.

mate Lisa Leslie also pulled down 8.9 per contest-and shouldering the offensive burden for the third-seeded Sparks with 18.5 points per game (also the rookie leader and 5th best league-wide) is even on the shortlist of MVP candidates. But it should come as no surprise after she led the Lady Vols to a repeat national championship on a dislocated shoulder and picked up an Olympic gold medal as a top reserve on Team USA. This may be one of Leslie’s final shots at a third ring, but will Parker tire after playing nearly twelve consecutive months of competitive basketball? My guess is no, but you’ll have to excuse the homerism.

THE FIELD:

Defending champion Phoenix finished last in the ultra-competitive West and failed to make the playoffs, but former champions Seattle and Sacramento both look to add to their hardware. While a win for the Storm would be sweet redemption after Force 10 bought the team to keep it in Seattle, championship hopes are slim following the season-ending surgery of Lauren Jackson. If Sue Bird and her clan of veterans can make a run, though, it would be a great story for the WNBA. Neverthless, both the Storm and the Monarchs look to be outmatched in the opening round.

Out East, Mike Thibault is one of the best coaches in the league but has to bring home a championship to women’s basketball titletown in Connecticut. The Sun have the experience-and the heartbreak, having lost in the Finals twice in 2004 and 2005-but did rank in the bottom

It looked good for the Sun in a 87-61 win over the Sparks July 24 – but will Connecticut advance to play the Western Conference champion?

half of the league in points allowed. The Liberty are getting better fast but look to lack the weapons to compete with the Shock should they upset Connecticut. And the Fever may be lucky to still be playing after eking out a .500 record with wins in three of their last four games.

THE PICK:

Los Angeles. Parker picks up the triple crown as the Sparks gain redemption for the Lakers’ finals embarassment and CP3 solidifies her position as one of the best to ever play the game.

Disagree? Offer your opinions in the comments section.

Pienette Pierson: No One Likes You

So the WNBA finally announced the punishments for the fight. Pienette Pierson got the harshest penalty, a 4 game suspension and a $1,500 fine, which is a lot considering ALL 1st round picks get less than $50,000 a year, most less than $40,000. Candace Parker ONLY GOT A ONE GAME SUSPENSION. I don’t see how Candace got a punishment different than Pierson, but the WNBA knows what’s best for them. They can’t have their most likable player not playing for an extended period of time.

Other hilarity, 3′6″ Shannon Bobbitt was suspended two games for coming off the bench. Yup, she was suspended for more games than Candace WHO TACKLED AND PUNCHED A GIRL. Bobbitt didn’t do much of anything. Rich Mahorn was suspended for two games, which is ridiculous because he was only being a “peacemaker.” Lisa Leslie fell and yelled at Mahorn for pushing her, even though the replays show he clearly didn’t. I have less respect for Lisa Leslie now (which is kind of impossible, like dividing by zero) than I ever have because she let this guy get thrown under the bus.

If I was Candace after this incident I would incite other players all the time. I would yell at the refs, “You can’t touch me!” and commit tons of flagrant fouls. She can do pretty much whatever she wants. I’m surprised she ever gets fouls called on her.

How bout a new slogan for the WNBA after this incident. They seem to hate the fight even though it’s seemingly given them more attention than ever.

The WNBA: We’ll Never Brawl Again!

Maybe them claiming to hate brawls would actually mean that they like them, like how their commercials now are about how sucky the WNBA is. The WNBA loves reverse psychology, like when they talk about their players being better at fundamentals. You can’t fool me, WNBA!

o shit! O Shit! (hand over mouth) O SHITTT!!!!

WNBA FIGHT!!!!!

props to yahoo, the AP, and Jerry S. Mendoza for this pic (and Candace too, for making this pic actually happen)

No highlights available yet, but we certainly will update when they are made available. The Sparks and Shock got into an intense girl fight today. So intense that MALE Rich Mahorn got involved and stumbled into 9′12″ Lisa Leslie, knocking her to the ground. O SHITTT! Craziness. Insanity. Crinsanity.

An unidentified Spark later punched Mahorn, and he didn’t notice.

The best part was when Pienette Pierson walked up to Candace Parker trying to intimidate Parker, and before Pierson could even say anything, Candace tackled her to the ground. Candace, as always, respect (pounds chest).

Postscript: Pienette Pierson, how does it feel to have EVERYONE against you?

Edit: Here’s the best highlight I can get for now.

Edit to end all edits: They say the players might be fined, normally no one would care, but it’s the WNBA.  Fines matter.  Candace will be ok, she’s got sponsership deals.  Pierson… not so much.

WNBA INTERVIEW!!! (not really)

In my billion (2) attempts to get a WNBA interview I always ask about a dunk contest. Here’s a recent email I sent to the WNBA.

Hi guys! I was wondering, with that new commercial you have with the girl dunking, any chance of some sort of WNBA dunk contest this year or in the coming years? I think the WNBA definitely has the personnel to pull it off with Candace Parker, Lisa Leslie, and Sylvia Fowles all having dunked in previous games. Any chance something like this happens?

Thanks!

I actually think this would be cool. Let’s see if they write back… I hope they love my bubbly personality. Also, should I have started with “hi guys”? They know that “guys” can be a synecdoche referring to all of mankind right? Uh… I mean humankind. Whatever.

WNBA OPENER LIVE CHAT!!

This is probably boring, and no one will read this. But this was epic. And like almost 4000 words.

You have joined room: TalkPractice

Welcome to our live chat room!

the_other_shammgod: where B everyone at?

the_other_shammgod: Candace Parker’s first WNBA basket! where was the dunk?

the_other_shammgod: Im just glad shes not wearing a long sleeve shirt

eaglesforever: phew. i was getting worried there

the_other_shammgod: Where’s capital?

eaglesforever: idk actually

eaglesforever: POP THAT

the_other_shammgod: money

the_other_shammgod: Did you hear Cooper’s nicknames for Lisa and Candace?

the_other_shammgod: Smooth and silk

the_other_shammgod: Candace is silk

the_other_shammgod: not bad I guess

the_other_shammgod: Lisa LEslie With the AIRBALL

eaglesforever: well he is the guy who said

eaglesforever: candace parker would be 3 of the greatest nba players ever

eaglesforever: in one person

the_other_shammgod: yup

the_other_shammgod: Cappy Poindextre is actually decent

eaglesforever: transition 3

the_other_shammgod: I really want to analyze these commercials, what kind of commercials run during WNBA games

the_other_shammgod: “Non -conformity”, yeah I guess so

eaglesforever: hahaha dude

eaglesforever: too bad that discovery card one doesn’t actually happen

capitalsports has joined.

capitalsports: yo what’s good bois

the_other_shammgod: WNBA thats what

capitalsports: that discovercard commercial was hilarious

socalsports31 has joined.

eaglesforever: yeees ssir

the_other_shammgod: yes the candace parker commercial!

capitalsports: woooo

capitalsports: candace

eaglesforever: omgz sooo hottt

the_other_shammgod: cappy poindexter, not

capitalsports: haha

the_other_shammgod: LEFT HAND!!

eaglesforever: look at that post play

the_other_shammgod: aight that was actually pretty good

capitalsports: very solid

capitalsports: i like how she’s rockin the sleeve

capitalsports: hahaha

eaglesforever: sweet assist

the_other_shammgod: Timeout!

the_other_shammgod: you need a timeout

the_other_shammgod: I didnt hear anyone call glass

capitalsports: or air, for that matter

capitalsports: cool, asian in wnba

capitalsports: 5′ 6″, awesome

the_other_shammgod: Thats what the A stands for

capitalsports: haha

eaglesforever: hahahahah

the_other_shammgod: Get out of the Zone!!

capitalsports: she’s smokkkin

eaglesforever: so many threes, this is awesome

the_other_shammgod: Actually i think shes kinda ugly

the_other_shammgod: ooooooooo, nevermind

capitalsports: i meant in an “on fire” kind of way

capitalsports: but that’s cool too

the_other_shammgod: Cmon Lisa get your head in the game, you aint nursin’ no mo’

capitalsports: haha, might have wider hips tho

the_other_shammgod: good for boxing out

eaglesforever: can that be considered cheating

the_other_shammgod: kinda like steroids… estrogen?!

capitalsports: dunno, i feel like it’s an unfair advantage cause i cant do it

eaglesforever: yeah, definitely

the_other_shammgod: Is it me or are airballs frequent

capitalsports: yes

the_other_shammgod: omg, are we gonna see 100 points?

eaglesforever: huuuuuuge 1st quarter

the_other_shammgod: still waitin for socal’s first comment…

the_other_shammgod: “so” “much” “talent” “on” “this” “Los Angeles” “Sparkes” “club”

capitalsports: fo sho

the_other_shammgod: Ok I laughed at, “everyone is over SIX feet tall!”

capitalsports:

eaglesforever: hahahah

capitalsports: 3 at thew buzzer!!

capitalsports: aight, i’ll be back in about 15

the_other_shammgod: 26+26+26+26= 104!!!

the_other_shammgod: where you goin?

eaglesforever: cant miss that wnba action

capitalsports: pick up my sis

the_other_shammgod: aight thats fair

capitalsports: haha aight, peace for a bit

the_other_shammgod: Im guessing socal signed in and then walked away

eaglesforever: disappointing

the_other_shammgod: women, what are ya gonna do…

the_other_shammgod: hey so i think all these commercials are the same as the ones for the NBA playoffs, Im guessing David stern did some package deal, otherwise we’d be seeing some cooler commercials.

FP73. Your message was truncated for being longer than allowed by the administrator.

eaglesforever: OH DUDE

eaglesforever: easily the best moment

eaglesforever: i’ve ever seen on jim rome

eaglesforever: he had david stern as his guest

eaglesforever: and at the end of his interview of stern

eaglesforever: david stern was like

eaglesforever: that’s it? nothing controversial?

eaglesforever: you let me off easy today. and jim rome was like…well i guess i could ask you about the wnba

eaglesforever: and david stern said…we’ll save that for another time

the_other_shammgod: haha, very nice

the_other_shammgod: dude i told you paul westhead is like the only coach that could save the WNBA, they score mad points

the_other_shammgod: Ok now everyone is just chucking threes

eaglesforever: yeah this seems like so much fun

eaglesforever: catch and shoot, catch and shoot

the_other_shammgod: You can’t call a carry on CANDACE!?

the_other_shammgod: A 6′4″ person can shoot threes?

the_other_shammgod: Did the announce just use the word, daggone?

eaglesforever: hahah well

eaglesforever: these aren’t exactly

eaglesforever: marv albert and brad neissler

the_other_shammgod: That dunk contest was rigged, she didnt actually win on merit, just so we are clear….

eaglesforever: that was a sweet pass by parker

the_other_shammgod: wow Lisa Leslie sucks right now

eaglesforever: OHHHHHHH

the_other_shammgod: oh shit. Parker is a good

the_other_shammgod: god

eaglesforever: huuuuuuuugeeee

the_other_shammgod: Ok, Candace Parker might be able to beat me 1 on 1

eaglesforever: hahah

the_other_shammgod: She just needs to learn the shammgod, then she will be unstoppable

eaglesforever: take her game to the next leve

socalsports31: where has diana taurasi been all game?

the_other_shammgod: Where have you been all game

the_other_shammgod: we need ure analysis

eaglesforever: ohhhh snap

socalsports31: taurasi sure has a high opinion of LA

the_other_shammgod: Shit, did she just call for Michael cooper to be fired?

socalsports31: they are DAMN good

the_other_shammgod: True

socalsports31: it’s interesting when the defending champ doesn’t expect to repeat

eaglesforever: not exactly promiisng

the_other_shammgod: And when their best player is like, yeah that other team is not gonna lose a game

socalsports31: sorry, i woke up at noon. i ate a nice, big breakfast and here I am

the_other_shammgod: thats why you should live on the east coast

the_other_shammgod: i woke up at 2:30

socalsports31: i’m not a fan of these sparks jerseys

eaglesforever: dang i didn’t realize that

the_other_shammgod: OK all the mercury do is chuck 3’s

eaglesforever: fact

the_other_shammgod: I think the sparks should just take laker jerseys and tape sparks over them, might be cheeper, and confuse enough people to gain fans

socalsports31: this is a nice crowd. i guess it helps that the suns season is already over

the_other_shammgod: its wasnt sold out as of last night

socalsports31: that’s an awful idea – they wouldn’t fit properly

the_other_shammgod: haha

socalsports31: and about that “estrogen competitve advantage” y’all were talking about – that’s why it’s a women’s league. so they all CAN get pregnant

the_other_shammgod: HAHA, nice

eaglesforever: hmm…i’m not sure i follow what you’re saying.

capitalsports: back

the_other_shammgod: I noticed during that “I got a list of demands” gatorade commercial, they only showed women, but during the mens one they show men and women. Breaking news: MEn are more tolerant!

socalsports31: i’ve actually been pleasantly surprised with the quality of this discussion – it’s very basketball oriented

eaglesforever: AMARE!!!

socalsports31: ver nice

socalsports31: i wonder if nash is here

socalsports31: see they’re talking about men’s bball

the_other_shammgod: Id say there is no chance in hell

the_other_shammgod: “the boston celtics have been extremely good at home” good anaysis there

eaglesforever: hahaha

capitalsports: just like the patriots home record

the_other_shammgod: no losses would be good i guess

capitalsports: u win alot, win win everywhere

capitalsports: you win*

socalsports31: not everything they say is supposed to be analysis – sometimes they just give info for the fans at home

the_other_shammgod: Im so happy we have someone here defending them

the_other_shammgod: seriously

the_other_shammgod: nice dish by taurasi

eaglesforever: yeah, solid play

the_other_shammgod: WNBA Superstar… Diana Taurasi!

capitalsports: dont forget, they said there was “no time to analyze the players” during the game

eaglesforever: step back j

the_other_shammgod: so we do it for them

capitalsports: clearly that was false, i rest my case

the_other_shammgod: Dude, LA is totally gonna score 100

eaglesforever: that would be a record right?

the_other_shammgod: haha yeah we cant really relate to being pregnant, now THATS good analysis

the_other_shammgod: i dont know

capitalsports: *quick research*

the_other_shammgod: 108-100?

capitalsports: awww baby pics

eaglesforever: can already hold a wnba ball

eaglesforever: that is awesome

the_other_shammgod: There no 10 seconds in women’s. THey dont have one in college

the_other_shammgod: Big basket

socalsports31: they have an 8-second rule in women’s

the_other_shammgod: in WNBA

the_other_shammgod: not in college, cmon socal!

the_other_shammgod: im takin ure job next year

socalsports31: huh?

the_other_shammgod: at the chron

socalsports31: why are we talking about women’s college

socalsports31: solid D by the mercury

the_other_shammgod: the announcer said there is an 8 second as opposed to the ten at other levels, but there is no ten

socalsports31: this sleeve is much better than the one candace sported during the tournament

eaglesforever: yeah

the_other_shammgod: thats a travel

socalsports31: clearly

eaglesforever: the tournament sleeve was inexcusable

the_other_shammgod: yeah an insult to the game

capitalsports: she would have been better off wearing a winter coat

capitalsports: less insulting

the_other_shammgod: cmon LA i want a 50 point half…

eaglesforever: lool

socalsports31: shoulder doesn’t seem to be affectingher play at all

the_other_shammgod: money

socalsports31: nice feed

capitalsports: oooo

socalsports31: awful foul

socalsports31: didnt’ know theey had a foul to give

socalsports31: my bad

socalsports31: good foul

the_other_shammgod: cappy and candace are really good, im unimpressed with everyone else

socalsports31: i like that cooper calls candace cp

capitalsports: haha called her CP

the_other_shammgod: did they just bleep out a swear?! nice

capitalsports: yeah they did that earlier too

the_other_shammgod: HAHAHAHA, the dancers, im almost crying

socalsports31: well considering you were unimpressed with candace when you first saw here play, i don’t know what to make of that

eaglesforever: lol

the_other_shammgod: yeah tahts true, i think it was the duke defense

capitalsports: the dancers are wild, awesome timeout entertainment

socalsports31: couldn’t these teams just be watching the tv broadcast

socalsports31: they’re calling plays

socalsports31: how are you not impressed with leslie

the_other_shammgod: yeah people wonder that in every sport, im sure the pats do it

capitalsports: they did this during an AFL game i watched last weekend too

socalsports31: ooh not good

capitalsports: broadcast the plays

eaglesforever: hahahah i remember nbc did that with the pats though

capitalsports: called a post route, and the guy got picked… i was suspicious

socalsports31: she’s a good speaker

capitalsports: learning from kobe?

socalsports31: she should pick up a foreign language

the_other_shammgod: GOING LIVE INSIDE THE LOCKERROOMS???

the_other_shammgod: um…

capitalsports: well she actually went to college, she might have studied one

capitalsports: ooo i cant wait for the lockerroom peak

capitalsports: peek*

the_other_shammgod: only is its LA

the_other_shammgod: if*

eaglesforever: eerm…in a purely journalistic manner

the_other_shammgod: uh yeah

the_other_shammgod: trust me no one wants to retransmit this game (low blow?)

the_other_shammgod: except for us of course

eaglesforever: halftime show, brought to you by IHOP

the_other_shammgod: taht announcer guy is so much shorter than the announcer lady, thats funny

socalsports31: she might be an ex-player

the_other_shammgod: “lot of bling to those rings” nice

socalsports31: that is a nice get-up

socalsports31: robert sarver owns the mercury too?

capitalsports: ugh, injury crash at indy

socalsports31: those fans better be worried about him royally screwing up their roster

the_other_shammgod: very true, Sarver is kinda like drugs

the_other_shammgod: If a WNBA player makes like 60k, how much are the rings worth?

eaglesforever: someone on ebay or something

eaglesforever: might be interested?

eaglesforever: mebbbe?

the_other_shammgod: dude i would totally buy one of those on ebay for like $14.95

socalsports31: the sun are doing well

the_other_shammgod: yeah I think im bandwagon jumping to the sparks, im still deciding

socalsports31: then again they’re beating up on an expansion team

socalsports31: i don’t think it’s bandwagon if you’ve never been a fan of another team

the_other_shammgod: 2 words, Nikisha sales

eaglesforever: yeah, i love the use of CP

the_other_shammgod: this is awful coaching

the_other_shammgod: this LA coach is like completely wrong

the_other_shammgod: whatever

eaglesforever: if we keep trading 2s for 3s

socalsports31: why isn’t cooper talking

eaglesforever: that’s not going to be good for us

eaglesforever: thanks coach

the_other_shammgod: i know where is the head coach?

socalsports31: trading 2s for 3s is not good – look at the last five minutes of the lakers-jazz game

eaglesforever: yeah…congrats on your lakers

socalsports31: thank you very much

socalsports31: sorry about your magic

the_other_shammgod: but threes are harder to make, she essentially said, dont guard cappy when she penetrates because she might kick it out for a three. NO! you gotta stop the ball! this is like 3rd grade coaching

socalsports31: another one of these awful commercials

socalsports31: i hate karl malone — and his stupid daughter

eaglesforever: lol seriously, who came up with these

the_other_shammgod: i wiht you there

eaglesforever: i read an article about malone

eaglesforever: he apparently has rejected one of his

eaglesforever: hmm..genetic sons

eaglesforever: fathered

socalsports31: what?

eaglesforever: he’s fathered like 3 children

eaglesforever: with 2 different women out of wedlock

socalsports31: interesting

eaglesforever: and refuses to recognize 1 of his sons

the_other_shammgod: yeah, karls got mad wedlock skilz

capitalsports: called pimpage

eaglesforever: and required propmting before meeting with his wnba duaghter

socalsports31: i know his daugther rooted for the pistons in the 2004 finals even though her dad was playing for the lakers

socalsports31: maybe that’s why

the_other_shammgod: i like the theme music, “superwoman”

eaglesforever: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=hill/080507

eaglesforever: that’s the malone story

socalsports31: this pace is very laker-esque. i’m liking this cooper

the_other_shammgod: The pace is like this because of the Mercury

the_other_shammgod: Paul westhead offense

socalsports31: i’m not sure how i feel about them playing overseas if it sacrifices their efficacy during wnba season

socalsports31: ooh another title taurasi took from becky hammon

the_other_shammgod: rebekka khammon

socalsports31: the box score doesn’t have a position listed next to parker – what did they introduce her as?

eaglesforever: ANNNND 1

the_other_shammgod: i actually missed the tip

eaglesforever: i was uhh watchin hockey

capitalsports: i was in the shower

capitalsports: haha

socalsports31: there was hockey on this morning?

eaglesforever: yuup, detroit and dallas

socalsports31: there’s that tenn-uconn bad blood

the_other_shammgod: Tarausi is blowing this game for phoenix

capitalsports: well it would be this afternoon for non-westcoasters

socalsports31: cmon candace gotta finish

capitalsports: helllo diana

the_other_shammgod: does this game count as one of those 40 games in 40 nights?

socalsports31: that’s on TNT

socalsports31: so no

the_other_shammgod: how much money you got now from this celts commercial

socalsports31: i change the channel now

socalsports31: he’s a choke – completely disappears in the fourth quarter

socalsports31: i’m very happy we didn’t trade for him

socalsports31: sweet muhammad ali

the_other_shammgod: wait who’s a choke?

socalsports31: NICE crowd

socalsports31: look at that eaglesforever

capitalsports: LOL MCNABB

socalsports31: “his season over” haha suns suck

eaglesforever: mcnabb

eaglesforever: please practice

capitalsports: hahahahhaa

eaglesforever: lets work on the priorities

capitalsports: he’ll need it before meeting the skins D twice next yera

eaglesforever: the one that allowed 65 combined fantasy points to mcnabb and westbrook in their second meeting? sweet!

capitalsports: haha yep

capitalsports: dot forget the first meeting though…

capitalsports: dont*

socalsports31: gotta crash those boards sparks

socalsports31: ooh early to be in the penalty

the_other_shammgod: already in the penalty, thats huge

capitalsports: theyre lettin phoenix back in it

the_other_shammgod: looks like we wont see 100 points eithre

eaglesforever: there’s still hope

capitalsports: crap mystics not on tv

socalsports31: how many fouls does it take to get in the penalty

the_other_shammgod: where was the dunk on that?

socalsports31: sloppy pass

capitalsports: DUNK

capitalsports: ahhhh

the_other_shammgod: beat ya to it

eaglesforever: hahhaha

capitalsports: lol not on my screen

the_other_shammgod: lisa leslie’s gotta go to meet that ball

the_other_shammgod: that turnover is partially her fault

socalsports31: they should put bobbit in

the_other_shammgod: she hit a three earlier

socalsports31: pondexter is burning them

capitalsports: cmon

the_other_shammgod: that is just an awful shot

socalsports31: i like that they don’t have tattoos

capitalsports: thank god

the_other_shammgod: parker silences the crowd

the_other_shammgod: we all know how hard that is to do

capitalsports: oh damn she got mowed down

the_other_shammgod: haha this announcer wants to get out of here, “this might be the longest quarter in WNBA history.”

socalsports31: wow empty upper deck – do those seats fill for suns games?

capitalsports: hahaha

eaglesforever: hahhaah

capitalsports: i would assume they fill

socalsports31: ok immediately disapprove of pondexter

eaglesforever: did he say that

socalsports31: tattoo and she went to rutgers

eaglesforever: she has a wnba tatto?

socalsports31: two sloppy plays

eaglesforever: geeet out

capitalsports: wooooow

socalsports31: too many missed layups

the_other_shammgod: poindexter is like good

socalsports31: they’re filling out cooper’s pink slip

eaglesforever: hahah

capitalsports: phoenix is on fire… dont count them out of breaking 100

the_other_shammgod: no they have no chance at 100, even iwth being in the penalty

capitalsports: gilbert’s agent-0 license plate is sweet

the_other_shammgod: This sparks team reminds of another LA team, 2 huge stars, cant gel, cant play well together, lose

capitalsports: before the fight, ill leave.. be back in a bit

eaglesforever: huuge 3rd for the mercury

the_other_shammgod: what is the offense? they just chuck threes no one is driving

socalsports31: which LA team is that?

the_other_shammgod: my SAT essay

socalsports31: they had four hall of famers – a little different

eaglesforever: hahaha

the_other_shammgod: that is awful shot selection, nobody tries to get a good shot.

socalsports31: nice move

eaglesforever: look at that cross over

the_other_shammgod: but candace dominates

eaglesforever: kg-esque press

the_other_shammgod: kevin garnett can handle the ball ok

socalsports31: better than KG

the_other_shammgod: MJ is two inches taller he had sick handle

the_other_shammgod: hell Shammgod was 6′4″ he had the best handle since the messiah

socalsports31: lady vols on the floor

eaglesforever: “shaquille o’neal type impact on the wnba”

socalsports31: we’re they talking about fowles or parker

the_other_shammgod: I was like two inches from bobbit and Candace!!

socalsports31: cuz fowles immediately draws comparison bcuz she went to LSU

the_other_shammgod: and the natural resemblence

socalsports31: i feel ashamed for ever endorsing wiggins over parker

eaglesforever: man..leslie owned her

the_other_shammgod: parker actually is good. I will say that

the_other_shammgod: we got ourselves a game

socalsports31: wow cooper is miked pretty loudly

the_other_shammgod: bobbit breakin ankles, you ant call that carry, she was gonna skip to my lou her

socalsports31: alright get her out

the_other_shammgod: bobbitt is killing them with turnovers

socalsports31: thank god parker’s back

the_other_shammgod: parker needs a triple double, that would be sweet

eaglesforever: that would be so sick for a debut

eaglesforever: 4 more assists

the_other_shammgod: Sheldon!

socalsports31: there’s the alndlord

socalsports31: landlord**

socalsports31: kings season over too

the_other_shammgod: but they did have the best team to not win a championship

socalsports31: nope

eaglesforever: (was he part of the bibby deal)

socalsports31: yeah

eaglesforever: oo kk

the_other_shammgod: this is acctually a really nice game

socalsports31: you seem so surprised

the_other_shammgod: 3 more assists

eaglesforever: haahah

eaglesforever: that was a solid boxout

the_other_shammgod: ok poindexter is really good

socalsports31: i don’t like all of these two-part last names

the_other_shammgod: if I didnt now any better I would say poindexter was better than some d-q college players

the_other_shammgod: D-1*

eaglesforever: she’s hit some nice jumpers yeah

socalsports31: SICK commercial

the_other_shammgod: haha, there is no WNBA dunk contest!

the_other_shammgod: Ok I wont watch you, wait, I should, Im confused

the_other_shammgod: Is that girl kinda deaf? (serious question)

eaglesforever: i really want to know who came up with those commercials

the_other_shammgod: Leslie just GTFOut-ed that girl

socalsports31: nice steal – gotta finish

socalsports31: you wouldn’t think they’d miss this many layups

the_other_shammgod: alley oop possibility?!

eaglesforever: hahahah

the_other_shammgod: ok that was a nice shot, out of control and wild, bu it went in so good effort

capitalsports: one of my keys to the game there

eaglesforever: that was a ridiculous shot

eaglesforever: over parker too i think

capitalsports: damnnn

capitalsports: aaand 1

the_other_shammgod: so Im watchin this in hi-def, you can see the fans, tons of them are older women with really short hair, all im sayin.

capitalsports: LOL

eaglesforever: hahaha

eaglesforever: “turning tampa bay into a mecca”

capitalsports: hahahah

the_other_shammgod: HHHHAAHAa

capitalsports: OMG that girl has a mclovin shirt

the_other_shammgod: the use of the word mecca just makes that joke so hillarious

socalsports31: that should’ve been an assist for leslie

the_other_shammgod: parkers gotta try to get those assists

socalsports31: can you get an assist off of a jumpball?

the_other_shammgod: yeah i think so

socalsports31: stacey dales

socalsports31: there’s the record

socalsports31: west coast basketball baby

eaglesforever: hahah

socalsports31: a la tim duncan right there

the_other_shammgod: tim duncan?

socalsports31: the bank shot.

the_other_shammgod: oh ok

socalsports31: besides, i think i’ve made my thoughts about the similarities btwn this team and the 97 spurs pretty clear

the_other_shammgod: i think this deserves its own post on the blog

the_other_shammgod: Are we missing the preakness right now?

socalsports31: i think it’s at 3:30

the_other_shammgod: you mean 6:30?

eaglesforever: lol

socalsports31: actually no it is at 2:30

the_other_shammgod: shit its already happened, 3 hours ago??!

the_other_shammgod: 3 active players have EVER had a triple double, wow

eaglesforever: clutch time

the_other_shammgod: isnt it 2:30 right now for you?

socalsports31: yeah

the_other_shammgod: so its now?

socalsports31: i just checked hasn’t happened yet

socalsports31: MAKE SOME LAYUPS

the_other_shammgod: Is leslie wearing lipstick? thats good effort to those new policies

the_other_shammgod: cluuuuuutch by taurasi

socalsports31: she always has worn lipstick

socalsports31: need some assists cp3

eaglesforever: noone can guard her

the_other_shammgod: i know, shes gotta know what she needs to get the trip double

eaglesforever: jeeez

the_other_shammgod: shes not bad

socalsports31: unstoppable

socalsports31: unless you go hack-a-parker

the_other_shammgod: nice

socalsports31: if i were on the sparks, the minute candace passed to me i would should it

socalsports31: shoot**

the_other_shammgod: i comepletely agree

eaglesforever: yeah

the_other_shammgod: the WNBA needs this triple double

socalsports31: why do they have taurasi on her?

the_other_shammgod: who else are they gonna put? they dont have anyone mobile who is tall enough

eaglesforever: 2 moree

socalsports31: i think i would go with height–mobile isn’t working

the_other_shammgod: yeah

socalsports31: good leslie’s coming back

the_other_shammgod: cluuuuuutch, taurasi is money

eaglesforever: cluuutch

socalsports31: sarver’s impressed

eaglesforever: haha yeah

the_other_shammgod: GIVE IT TO PARKER

socalsports31: good rebound

socalsports31: muriel page baby

eaglesforever: florida gator

socalsports31: nice

the_other_shammgod: good knowledge eagles!

socalsports31: they just said it

eaglesforever: hahah yeah

capitalsports: good time to come back looks like

the_other_shammgod: you cant call a foul on a tip!!!!!!!???!!!

socalsports31: is that actually a rule or are you just saying that?

the_other_shammgod: you cant call it on one of the people taking the tip, im not sure if he called it on someone else

the_other_shammgod: well, ou could call it if they like punch someone, but short of that…

socalsports31: maybe it’s a wnba rule

the_other_shammgod: maybe

socalsports31: what a finish

eaglesforever: wow

the_other_shammgod: candace parker does not turn it over

socalsports31: can’t make that call on candace

socalsports31: nice steal

capitalsports: and there we go

eaglesforever: CP

the_other_shammgod: Candace parker is so much better than leslie

capitalsports: cmon candace, we want 100

socalsports31: i’m always partial to my usc trojans

socalsports31: this is a fantastic opener for the WNBA

the_other_shammgod: wow, very good game

capitalsports: CLUITCH

socalsports31: solidly consistent 50% shooter

socalsports31: damn

socalsports31: they’re playing like it’s a tourney game

socalsports31: nice intensity

the_other_shammgod: what is this feeling? excitement? weird… I didnt expect this

capitalsports: well clearly you didnt “expect great”

the_other_shammgod: i went with low expectations and im pleasantly surprised

capitalsports: haha ok fair enoughj

capitalsports: #4 really was key

the_other_shammgod: ooooooooo that shot almost went

socalsports31: on-the-ball defense

capitalsports: wow

socalsports31: nice

capitalsports: she got T’d up?!?!

socalsports31: it’s a shame she won’t get the trip double

capitalsports: OMG

capitalsports: could go over 100??

the_other_shammgod: yeah i think it was a foul, but thats candace, they are never calling that

socalsports31: no foul

eaglesforever: aight guys..i gotta go

eaglesforever: but that was an epic game

capitalsports: peace dude

socalsports31: no candace is at the line we’re not getting 100

the_other_shammgod: cya eagles

the_other_shammgod: cmon 100!

capitalsports: she could do it

socalsports31: she’s a solid 50% SHOOTER

the_other_shammgod: ahhhhhhhhh

capitalsports: NOOOOOO

eaglesforever has left.

socalsports31: nice game

the_other_shammgod: 99-94, not bad at all

socalsports31 has left.

capitalsports: thats very good

the_other_shammgod: btw ive copied this whole chat and am gonna post it

capitalsports: cool

the_other_shammgod: aight cya everyone

It’s Not Like There’s a Seinfeld Rerun To Watch Instead…

Hell yeah. Hell yeah you guys! It’s finally here! WNBA Kickoff weekend is here. You may already know this from accidentally seeing this commercial, or watching any NBA playoff games. We’ve got you covered beginning, during, and after the game. I promise tons of updates, or just one HUGE update after the game. The excitement is palpable, literally. I think I have to go wash my hands.

Here is my attempt at a preview. I don’t have the writing experience of a socalsports, the ability of an eaglesforever, the knowledge of a capitalsports, or the African accent of a Fingerwag, but I think I’ll make up for it with my effort and overall excitement. Here goes…

Los Angeles Sparks at Phoenix Mercury 3:30 Eastern Time (Woot Woot you guys!)

To the mere mortal, that would be reigning defending WORLD CHAMPIONS Phoenix Mercury. CHAMPIONS OF THE WORLD. There was not another team in the world that could beat them at basketball last year. Um, yeah lets go with that.

The Mercury are led by All-everything guard Diana Taurasi. You might remember her from her days as a star at UConn. Well, she plays in the WNBA now. She led this team to the title last year. Look for her to feed off of the amazing crowd energy early and often in this one (sidebar: as I write this TICKETS ARE STILL AVAILABLE!!!).

Phoenix is coached by Corey Gaines, who was a disciple of Paul Westhead, one of my favorite coaches of all time (seriously). Westhead coached this Mercury team last year (fact check that anyone? I’m lazy), but was more famous for coaching men’s basketball. He created “the Loyola Offense” during his years as coach of the Loyola Marymount squad in the late 80’s. They scored 149 points in a round of 32 win over Michigan in 1990. If this guy and his disciple Gaines can’t make women’s basketball exciting, nothing ever will.

With her umbilical cord now free, the Los Angeles Sparks are led by Lisa Leslie, who can like totally dunk n’ stuff. Lisa took the year off last year to take care of her newborn baby, much like Detlef Schrempf famously did in his 95-96 season with the Seattle Supersonics (fact check that anyone?). The Sparks also have ZOMG soo hot Candace Parker, who iz like hot and can kinda ball. Candace just led her Tennesee Vols women’s team to the national championship this year, and because of the weird calendar time of the WNBA season, she was drafted a day later and will play tomorrow. Candace can also dunk. The dunking is off the hook for this Sparks team. The combo of Candace and Lisa is like when Vince Carter and Tracy McGrady were both on the Raptors. Yeah, I’m totally leaving that last sentence in. The Sparks are coached by former NBA player Michael Cooper.

Expect some sort of marathon chat/live blog from all of us here at We Talkin’ ‘Bout Practice right after the game (or during).

Oh and if you want a “real preview” here ya go. Enjoy.

Gratuitous Mother’s day Post

Here’s Brynn Cameron, Mother of Matt Leinart’s child. How ’bout we go over some of the women playing sports who also have kids? I realize Brynn doesn’t really count.

Lisa Leslie- Gave Birth to Lauren Lockwood June 25, 2007(?). Will be back this year playing for the Sparks after taking a year off to do whatever mothers do after babies are born. Sit around and be lazy and do nothing important.

Lindsay Davenport- gave birth to Jagger last June. Was 19-2 after a loss to Maria Sharapova in the Australian open. Apparently she only takes direct flights nowadays because they are more convenient when you have a child. Primadona? All I’m sayin.

Sheryl Swoopes- One of the more famous WNBA players, she gave birth to a child back in 1996. Then later revealed she was a Lesbian. Father was like “ba-wha?? You weren’t lesbian when you made me help raise this kid!”

Joy Fawcett- was one of those women playing in that professional soccer league. You know, Mia Hamm and those other people. She has three daughters and gave birth to them all while still playing for team USA (obviously she took some break time). Nothing but respect here (but never heard of her until today).

Gail Devers- Gail had a kid in 2005. Hopefully she now cuts her fingernails.

If anyone else knows any more famous mothers in sports, let us know and we’ll try to add them in.

Disclaimer: We Talkin’ ‘Bout Practice has nothing but respect for all working mothers, especially in sports. All unfunny “jokes” made in this article were not serious.  Leave me alone.