I’ve been a bad sports fan this past week. The NBA and NHL are playing thrilling playoffs, baseball is just starting to heat up, and college lacrosse playoffs are on TV, yet I’ve probably only watched an hour of sports in the past seven days. Even ESPN Classic, my favorite boredom buster, has received little love from me.
I don’t have any substantial input to make right now, but saying nothing this morning would be a shame, considering the Celtics were eliminated last night, so I’ll just discuss one fringe benefit of the game last night: reading a cornucopia of ridiculous headlines from the clever to the painful. When you have a reigning champion, big-time program, lose to a team named The Magic, headline-smiths around the world get excited. Here are a few column and article headlines:
Celtics disappear
Cruel trick
Turkoglu reappears just in time for Magic
Green done in by lanky point forward
Helpless against this firing squad
Alpha-Bits and empty tanks
Stars not aligned for C’s this time around
No. 18 will have to wait
Orlando Magic make history with rout of Boston Celtics
In game 7, Celtics run out of Magic
Van Gundy, Magic make naysayers disappear
Magic show: C’s run finished
Hounded by Magic defense, Pierce is unable to deliver
Celtics fall for Magic tricks
Two of Big Three not enough
Superman Dwight Howard comes to Magic’s rescue
Allen gave it his best shot
But, once I saw the Yahoo Sports headline, I knew we had a winner:
Magic to appear at King’s court
Congrats, Yahoo! Your prize is being an increasingly irrelevant Internet corporation.
Did anybody watch the Celtics-Hawks game yesterday? What the hell is wrong with Atlanta? Their court absolutely sucks. This year it’s their court being really slippery. It caused like 3 travels and Pierce almost busted his knee again. Glen Davis face-planted before the game. Last year THEY COULDN’T GET THE F’N SHOT CLOCKS TO WORK. Build a new court or move to Seattle please. They need an NBA team as soon as possible.
You want to tell this guy to his face that he isn’t the best player in the game?
Seen it too many times. He ain’t clutch, he’s just good. I don’t really subscribe to the whole “you are as good as you think you are” line of thinking, but cmon. He’s pretty good. At least top ten. Celtic fans have known this for awhile. Only reason we were so f’n bad that one year was because we didn’t have pierce for a few games. We had him and NO ONE else for like 3 years. Still made the playoffs for a few of those.
Also, if you noticed, Horford was guarding him. Hey horford how do you feel about this now? Pierce just made a game winner ON YOUR FACE. kenyan-AAA!!
Hey guys. Back sooner than I thought after writing 5000 words, passing out, waking up underneath an awning somewhere in Dorchester, freaking out, realizing that’s where I spend every night, calming down, then freaking out that I just wrote 5000 words, and then realizing that I don’t have a watch and for all I know that could’ve been a month ago.
It wasn’t? Whatever.
This is everything that is wrong with America. Basic story as I see it: Cops see a black man in a relatively expensive car (guessing). Pull him over. Force him to take a few sobriety tests. He passes all of them making the cops look like idiots. In order to not be bothered and to avoid being arrested for DWB (driving while black) the man decides to take a cab home. The black man is Paul Pierce.
Maybe the worst part? On the page I linked there is a poll and 70% of people think there is something “fishy” about what Paul Pierce did. Pierce does an extremely admirable thing by deciding that even if he isn’t doing anything illegal, maybe he should get a cab to play it safe. He is doing what EVERYONE SHOULD DO. This is “fishy”? Yikes.
I sincerely hope that the Vegas cops had a real reason for pulling Pierce over. I’d even settle for the fact that the cops were Laker fans and wanted to mess with him. It’s better than the alternative. Advice for the cops in the future: If you really want to help the Lakers, pull Sasha Vujacic over and tell him to never play basketball again. Or just stick him in jail for murder or something.
Do people in Vegas like the Lakers? I don’t know, whatever.
Note To Reader: I started this post quite a few days ago, certain things have changed in the world since I started it. I refuse to go back and edit stuff I wrote to make it “work” or whatever. Call it honesty. Or Laziness. No, honesty, definitely honesty…
Haven’t made a (real) post in a few days. This one might take a while. Our blog’s last two posts are me talking about this dude (who no one cares about) and a picture of this dude (who no one but finger wag cares about). Also, our last comment from a “reader” features the word “fantabolous.”
My fellow Americans, the state of the blog is “Ugh”.
I have the solution: another poorly researched list that no one cares about, but might get people to argue, but probably won’t because (as previously stated 15 words ago) no one cares.
Hey buddy it’s me. Man we had some sweet times back at Kansas, didn’t we? How ya been doin’?
Well actually, I kinda know. It’s been all over the TV and everything. Dude you were on TV! And not just like once, LIKE ALL THE TIME! Dude props seriously.
Anyways I been wondering… in case you haven’t heard I’m in Portland right now. Yeah the Jailblazers. Things are kinda looking good for us, but not as good as things look for you. Quick sidenote, remember 1998? Dude we were SICK that year. That was great. Just you and me leadin the way. We work awesome together. Remember how awesome we worked together? It’s too bad I couldn’t handle Antonio Reynolds Dean. Man that guy was UGLY. You’re way better looking, not to sound gay or anything.
So I was wonderin, ol’ pal, if you could put in a good word for me. Ya know, tell KG how I was sick in college and never realized my full potential. I mean I was the guy that caught Jason Williams off the elbow pass. Do you see that pass on highlight reals if I don’t catch it? PROBABLY NOT LOL!! You need the guy to catch it. Tell Danny I could totally play backup center. I’d coach Perk and teach him stuff. Teach him to like, shoot freethrows mildly better or something.
Anyway, the point is, I think you should put in a good word for me because of how we’re pals. Ya know, always lookin out for each other? When we played in Boston together we only had one good player (That’s YOU!! LOLZZZ). Maybe now I could join in on the fun yeah? We could finally fulfill our dream to win a championship together. Remember how we both dreamed that? Can you IMAGINE how awesome it would be to win one? Well, yeah I guess you do. But how bout winning one with your buddy Raef? Remember how fun it was to party together back at Kansas? Remember that time I showed up at your crazy birthday bash and you pretended not to want me there, and then pretended to kick me out? That was HILLARIOUS! I got so shwasted that night!
Anyway, the real reason I’m writing this is to just congratulate you on the win. I don’t like to have ulterior motives. Also remember I’ll always think you’re a really cool person. Again, not being gay or anything.
So that’s really it. Hope I see you soon (in Boston?).
I’m really enjoying these finals. So far, at least for me, the Finals have been awesomely great greatlyawesomely great to watch. Game 4 was awesome obviously. The Celtics have a good chance to win the series. So don’t get me wrong here, this is awesome. Have I said awesome enough? It’s June and I haven’t dove head first into the Redsox yet. Should they sign Barry Bonds? I don’t even really care yet! (although the answer is yes)
It’s just that, there is a guy missing here.
Antoine Walker was the man. He was the Celtics. He was there before Paul Pierce, and though we all knew Pierce was better, Antoine was the Celtic player. We loved the Walker Wiggle. We loved how he chucked threes like crazy. We loved it because he played like we all wanted to play. He was a chucker who sometimes got hot, and when he did you didn’t forget it (when you’re hot baby, you’re hot. I still remember this call just because how many times it was played over and over again. Look how when he releases it he KNOWS it’s in). He played like a 7th grader who was 6-9. He frequently led the league in threes attempted, and it wasn’t unusual for him to shoot ten to fifteen 3’s in a game. I remember trying to copy Antoine’s quick release shooting form. It messed up my jumper for like 6 months. He was the king of flip shots in the lane, mostly because they weren’t too different from his normal jumpshot. And yeah, we definitely got mad at him. Why would he shoot soooo many bad threes? But he was kinda like us at that time. Just trying to have fun and slowly learning how to play the right way, we hoped. He was the star of the the only Celtic game I’ve been able to attend. He led a comeback charge late in the game against the Trailblazers by hitting the same threes he had missed before, because he always KNEW he was going to make his next shot. He got hot, but he still came up short. It usually ended up like that.
Then it happened. I was sitting in Spanish class. My friend walks in and goes, “The Celtics just traded Antoine.” What? We knew he was being shopped, but at least for me, I never thought he would actually leave. We were quick to ask for corroboration on the story, after all, we weren’t supposed to use the computers in the lab to get sports news. But it was true. An era was over. The news passed through the school like a bad rumor.
We got Antoine back the next year for a few months. It wasn’t the same, but it was definitely kinda cool. Even though he hadn’t been gone too long it seemed like we were connecting with the past. Here’s a good article about this time (it’s Simmons). But then he left again. He won a title with the Heat, which was great, but since then he’s kinda vanished. He’s toiling in Minnesota, with a few other former Celtics (Al Jeff!). Walker only played in 46 games this year and only averaged 8 points a game. Even more shocking, he only averaged about 4 three point attempts per game.
And now that the Celtics are playing games in June for the first time in my lifetime, he’s not here. He deserved to be here for all he put up with over the years. We never really appreciated him until he was gone.
1) Paul Pierce is really, really good. His 41 points lifted the celtics to a huge win over the cavs. KG seemed very willing to let Pierce carry the celtics during crunch time. Pierce also attempted to play some pretty solid D on Lebron, although it didn’t really stop LBJ. I’ve never really considered Pierce as one of the very elite superstars in this league, but his performance this season has helped change my mind. A lot of critics have noted KG’s unwanted unselfishness in the waning moments of close games, and it seemed especially pronounced in this game (although you can’t really blame him when Pierce was having such an awesome game).
2) Talk about huge for PJ Brown. His jumper in the late stages of the game was absolutely clutch. He scored 10 points in game 7 of the 2nd round of the playoffs, higher than his entire season total. Definitely an interesting decision by Doc, throwing out Brown at the end of the biggest game of the Celtics’ season, but guess it worked out.
3) Cavs’ coach Mike Brown hasn’t exactly been the most popular coach because of his …erm…well..”predictable” offensive strategies. It’s hard to argue with the results given the lack of help for Lebron though. The Cavaliers roster isn’t exactly bursting with talent, although it definitely has quality players. Brown’s emphasis on defense has helped the Cavaliers thrive in shutting down opponents, and with Lebron, they always have a chance at the end of games.
4) This isn’t related to Game 7 but…talk about a major reversal of public statement. Although the Lakers definitely backed off from their early optimism regarding Bynum’s return following his injury, he will now have surgery on his injured left knee
Normally I would never post on this topic because after about 6000 words of blabber I would reach the conclusion that I’ve already hounded too many people about: “clutch” doesn’t exist. But over the last few days I got to thinking. Seriously. I’m wondering if I’ve been looking at this all wrong for the last few years. I’ve got to get a few things off my chest.
I realize this is like the equivalent of Ghandi saying he believes in Allah (now that’s a sweet religion reference yeah? Also, I think I just offended 40% of our writing staff with that awful “joke”. Anyways, back to the sentence we are currently in the middle of…), or maybe it isn’t, because nobody actually cares what I think about things. Whatever the case, there were two recent things that got me on the path toward thinking that clutch is real.
Firstly, I stumbled upon this interview given by the great Dak of firejoemorgan.com. In it he states what socalsports has been trying to tell me for seemingly twenty years (that number might be a bit off): Clutch may be stupid and make no sense, but it’s tough to argue with Josh Beckett. His performance in big games at least makes you think. If a writer from FIREJOEMORGAN.COM, the chief of all anti-clutch sites, can admit that there is a chance they are wrong, than I must do so as well. And if a person like socalsports, who at least pretends relatively convincingly that she knows a lot about sports, can agree for the most part with me, but not jump to the same conclusion, then I have to think about it, right?
I may have been wrong. Also, don’t try to find dak’s quote in the interview, I think it’s like halfway in, but that interview is really long and you may never find it. Just some advice.
Anyways… the second thing was today’s performance by Paul Pierce and Lebron James. They both stepped up huge in a game that mattered a whole hell of a lot. The thing on which I’ve been basing my whole “no such thing as clutch” argument was that in a professional league, with the athletes seemingly trying as hard as they can all the time, it would be impossible to like, “try harder” or “focus more” or “step up” in a way that would actually make your performance better than what it normally is. But what if athletes do not always try their best?
Is it possible that some athletes coast until they realize that it’s crunch time and then step up? I know that in random pickup games this happens all the time. I frequently do not play defense until it is game point (even then I sometimes still don’t). Could professionals actually be “pacing” themselves in order to play well in key games and key situations?
(record scratch sound effect)
Wait a second. Hell no. It’s not like Lebron purposely went 2-18, or Pierce purposely threw up multiple wild lay-ups in a few games in Cleveland. If they could have made these shots go in, they would have. Their shots were just falling today. Yup, clutch makes no sense. Forget I ever said anything.
Posted by swiznit 
Posted by the other shammgod 
Posted by the other shammgod 
he chucked threes like crazy. We loved it because he played like we all wanted to play. He was a chucker who sometimes got hot, and when he did you didn’t forget it (
way, we hoped. He was the star of the the only Celtic game I’ve been able to attend. He led a comeback charge late in the game against the Trailblazers by hitting the same threes he had missed before, because he always KNEW he was going to make his next shot. He got hot, but he still came up short. It usually ended up like that.
already hounded too many people about: “clutch” doesn’t exist. But over the last few days I got to thinking. Seriously. I’m wondering if I’ve been looking at this all wrong for the last few years. I’ve got to get a few things off my chest.
the other shammgod
capitalsports
eaglesforever
fingerwag55
socalsports31
swiznit