Goodnight You Princes of Providence, You Kings of New England

It's pretty much over. (AP Photo/Frank Franklin II)

Sad, sad day. Pc’s probably out of the tournament.

So who wins the tourney now that PC’s out??!!

UNC, Louisville, UConn, Wake Forest, and Duke are the teams I think can win it all (Memphis, Pitt and Oklahoma are all secretly terrible).

Keno Davis’ halftime speech

Providence College is a decent team.  Being a decent team, they are occasionally ahead of good teams.  This year Providence has had halftime leads against many opponents, even really good opponents.  PC has had halftime leads over Marquette, Louisville, and only a 4 point deficit AT Uconn.

In my mind here is what head coach keno davis tells his crew at the break…

Keno: Hey guys great half.  We’re totally in this thing.  Wey awesome job.

I was wrong V4

Um, yeah.

That loss makes this a little embarrassing.

For the record, PC totally outplayed them in the first half.

Let’s go over a few things…

UNC just lost to BC 85-78.

PC lost to BC 81-76.

Duke beat Rhode Island 82-79.

PC beat Rhode Island 66-65.

What does this mean?

Nothing of course.

FUTURE EDIT: Did anybody notice that Va Tech only score THIRTEEN points in the second half last night? woooooooow.  Our intramural team is better than that.

Out of context quote of the day

“A latrine with chickens on the roof.”

This is PC basketball

7:02	Charlotte – Full timeout (Timeout #1)
7:04	Providence – Marshon Brooks misses a layup
7:29	Charlotte – Charlie Coley dunks the ball
7:34	Providence – Jonathan Kale misses a layup
7:38	Providence – Weyinmi Efejuku misses a layup

This was taken from a recent game against Charlotte (which they won by the way). Ridiculous.

Another Boring Live Blog? How can I resist!

Live blog of you know what class? This should be boring and pointless for everyone (but might pass the time).

4:25- He’s not here.

4:27- No one is sitting in the first row. The back is the first to fill up. He’s still not here.

4:29- People are blatantly leaving class now. Do we have a TA? Reference to 15 minute rule. 10 mins to go.

4:30- Kid who asks questions enters. Not the teacher.

4:35- Still not here. 5 mins left!

4:38- Cleveland St. is better than Maryland? Really Rivals.com? really? Oh, he’s still not here.

4:39- He arrives, missed it by that much.

4:40- “sorry… (incoherent) cell phone buddies (incoherent).”

4:42- He’s gonna try to get that dang computer started. This is good. This can only be good.

4:45- “talking is easy, listening is the hard part.” I’d say so, especially in this class in the back row. Listening is actually physically impossible.

4:47- I think he’s giving out a hw assignment, but he seems to be giving it to the ground, at least that’s what he’s looking at.

4:50- Wants to talk about something “down to earth” like “shoes” and “feet.” I can’t make this stuff up. I wish I could.

4:55- Takes off shoes. Really.

4:57- Puts on… backup pair of shoes?! WHAT IS GOING ON?

5:00- “Mold… DA DUH DA DUH DUH DUH DAH DUH DI DADA DUM DUM DAH!”

5:01- “This is important- DUUUUUUNNNNNN!- because -DUNNNNNNNNNN!- values -DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN!-

5:03- Strange song today. Dont recognize it at all.

5:04-” (mumble)… then we’ll get back to shoes.”

5:07- “Carl Sandberg… Road not Taken.” That was Robert Frost. Carl Sandberg talked about fog and cats.

5:11- He makes a funny joke, a reference to Oedipus Rex. Either Im the only one who understood the reference, or Im the only one that’s listening. Nonetheless it was hilarious. Props.

5:12- “Purple mountains magesty above the fruited plain!” America the beautiful is playing. LOUDLY.

5:13- Kid leaves. No one cares or notices.

5:17- Not one person, NOT ONE PERSON, is making eye contact with him. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS EXERCISE?

5:19- Can we get off the topic of shoes? No? Ok.

5:20- The kid who asks questions asks a question. something about confucious. Whatevah kid, you aint better than me.

5:24- Itunes reference. He knows what Itunes is? Cool.

5:26- My summary of class so far- SHOES, SHOES, SHOES, sage, exemplar, SHOES SHOES, feet, left foot, right foot, SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES SHOES, plato.

5:31- Your students are over here. Yeah. Look this way.

5:33- Or don’t, whatever.

5:35- Let’s see how long these last 5 mins feel like.

5:36- Asking us to stick around?!  What are the odds of ANYONE staying after (besides question guy)?  0, zero, cerro, or NONE?

5:38- You know there are never any questions.  Stop asking about it.  Wait… he’s letting us go!  Thank you Christian God!

And that concludes this useless exercise.

Are you obsessed with Bill Plaschke?

Lemme answer this. Obsessed is a strong word. How do I put this? (To Bill Plaschke) “I’m sick of you bad professional writers. All you do is annoy me. So I’ve been sent here to destroy you.” Yeah, that works. Thanks for helpin me with that line, Marshall.

The Lakers are doing awesome. Awesomely awesome. They are the second team to make it to the Conference Finals. If only I could create a cool metaphor for this…

A season that began in tiny torn pieces is halfway toward becoming one eye-popping, jaw-dropping quilt.

Nope.

A dreamcoat, it would be.

Are we comparing the Lakers to Joseph from the Bible now? You know Joseph was beaten nearly to death by his brothers right after he received his “dreamcoat.” Who are the brothers in this scenario? The Hornets?

Eight more wins, it would take.

Ok, it all makes sense now. Plaschke is fluent in Chinese only. So he types what he wants to write into freetranslation.com and translates directly to English (don’t bother paying those professionals, what a rip-off!). That is the only explanation I have for how awful this sentence is. 另外八次勝利，它會拿。!!!

The Lakers on Friday reached the midway point of their patchwork journey toward a previously unimaginable NBA title in typical many-colored fashion.

Quilt reference #2!

They turned out the lights on the league’s best home court.

They put out the fire in the league’s most consistently intense team.

What is with his obsession with these strange mixed metaphors? He always uses them, they never make sense, and he always lists like two or three in a row just for good measure.

They ruined Utah native Pip Pirrup’s new Pettycoat with their intense defense.

Kobe’s game was the Crème brûlée compared to Carlos Boozer’s Hungryman Microwave dinner.

Just kidding. I wrote those myself. But you actually believed he had written that for a second didn’t you?

Didn’t you?

Game, Set, Wasatch.

Anyone have any idea what Wasatch means? Is this an LA thing? Am I to dumb at sports to understand? I have no idea what this means.

Denver done, Utah used, two series gone, two more to go, the Lakers now set to enjoy home-court advantage in the conference finals against the winner of Monday’s semifinal Game 7 between New Orleans and San Antonio.

Good factualness, but “Utah used?” I like to think the metaphor he’s goin for here can only be truly understood by some middle aged lady in LA that Plaschke used to date. I’ll get you Plaschke!

But at this point in the postseason, everyone is watching the Lakers.

I’m pretty sure this isn’t true. I’m pretty sure Eastern Conference teams have enough to deal with right now. I’m pretty sure Kevin Garnett just meditates 22 hours a day and the other 2 hours are dedicated to practice and eating some weird concoction that looks like gruel.

When spring began, most pegged the Lakers as a conference finals team at best, or perhaps potential losers in the NBA Finals to the Boston Celtics.

This isn’t really correct. Nobody really had any idea what was gonna happen this year. Except that Boston or Detroit was coming out of the East. And that definitely will still happen (seriously, if the Cavs advance, Pistons in 5).

So far in this postseason, the Lakers have been the only team to sweep a series.

Not as impressive as the Pistons beating the Magic (I like that I challenge what he says even though he now thinks that the Lakers are looking awesome, which is what I’ve been saying all along. Somehow he still manages to be wrong.)

So far, they are only the second team to win a conference semifinal game on the road.

The Pistons were the first, so yeah, they were more impressive here too.

So far, they have racked up the most impressive two-game stretch of anybody, leading from start to finish in their last two games against the 54-win Jazz.

Possible, but I’m gonna disagree because the Pistons have been sitting at home for like 6 days now. I’m also docking him for previously writing about Pau Gasol being scared and stuff, and now saying the Lakers are good.

So far, nobody has looked tougher or smarter or better.

Pistons.

Are they really good enough to not only reach the Finals, but win there?

Yeah definitely, WE ALL KNEW THIS ALREADY. But it is the playoffs, so crazy stuff could happen.

Put it another way:

Is there any question they haven’t answered?

1) Why did this team lose to the Celtics by twenty twice, but is cruising through the playoffs while the Celtics are struggling?

2) Why doesn’t Lamar Odom get the ball more?

3) Why does jordan Farmar ever play?

4) A pirate ship holding five pirates finds a treasure of 1000 golden coins. The treasure must be split among the five pirates. They are, in order of rank: Pirate 1, Pirate 2, Pirate 3, Pirate 4, and Pirate 5.

The pirates have three important characteristics: infinitely smart, infinitely bloodthirsty, and infinitely greedy.

Starting with the lowest ranked Pirate 5, they each must propose a way to split the treasure among them. If the proposal is not accepted by a majority of the pirates, the proposing pirate will be thrown overboard.

What proposal should Pirate 5 make?

I definitely want to see Kobe try to answer that one. (and yes I do know the answer, and yes I did copy it from another site)

With the exception of that strange overtime in Game 4, Bryant deferred to his teammates when his back was aching or his jump shot was jiggling, and his teammates responded.

So when a jump shot “jiggles” that means its missing? Ok, noted.

Eight wins down, eight wins to go, halfway there, feels like halfway home.

Hey, not a usual infinitely chessy/horrible last line from Plaschke. This sounds more like a last line of a mildly not bad college essay. I’d say this line puts Plaschke somewhere between Worchester Polytechnic Institute and Providence College. Solid schools.

Good job Billy! You’ll make us proud someday. Just don’t ever become a writer.

This is gonna be my last post for a few days, probably. I’m traveling to the other side of Boston because a hobo friend of mine told me that there were a few bridges down there that never leak, and are in close vicinity to one of those nun places that give away free food. I love stale bread. I don’t promise that I won’t try to post from the road, but just don’t expect the same quality. If it’s possible to expect worse, do that.