Parker births baby girl. Aspiring women’s basketball infants everywhere weep, clamor for bottle.

A new generation of Candace is upon us, and somehow it took this blog, these six rabid Parker fans, five days to report it. Sorry, We Talkin’ ‘Bout Practice readers, all dozens of you.

No picture or name is available, but I’ve read a few places that the baby weighed 7 lbs. 6 oz. at birth with a height of 20 inches. No word on what colleges are at the top of baby Candace’s list, though analysts’ early predictions are that she’ll pick Tennessee when commitment day rolls around eighteen years from now.

Perhaps most incredible, Parker will probably not miss a day of the WNBA season. She continued working out through the night before the birth, and has said in interviews that she’ll get back to the gym and the Sparks’ recently-opened training camp as soon as her physician gives her the OK.

Here’s hoping that the reigning MVP is also a MVM (most valuable mom), too. Best wishes, Candace!

Palindrome

Here is a palindrome I wrote about the Uconn women’s basketball team:

Dip Uconn I in no cupid.

Not no Win i wont on

Blowouts suck I cried barbarically “yllacirabrabdeircikcusstuowolb!”

Racecar

Blowouts suck I cried barbarically “yllacirabrabdeircikcusstuowolb!”

Not no Win i wont on

Dip Uconn I in no cupid

It means that I did not love this Uconn team because they repeatedly killed every team and that was boring. Here’s to the WNBA draft being soon!

Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow I will delete this post.

It’s been… too long

If I was a better writer I would come up with a better way to describe what Im feeling right now.

How ’bout, “I am in love with April 9th.”

What is April 9th you ask?

The fucking greatest day in the 2009 calendar year.

Expect snarkiness, jokes that aren’t funny, actual analysis, and love.  Love from me to the WNBA.  Lesbian love.

Felt like we needed to post something

Hey so everybody look here.  Does anyone find it weird that under “Player’s Favorite Books” we see books by Dr. Seuss, Dr. Seuss, Dr. Seuss, Queen Latifa, and Peggy Parish?

I mean, I love Theodore Geisel, but cmon WNBA, somebody has gotta throw out an Ernest Hemingway, or a James Hilton, or even an Ayn Rand.  You gotta try to pretend to be smart.  (I realize this is sorta a kids reading thing.  Im tired.  Whatever.)

Also, I love that Candice Dupree loved reading the Hardy Boys growing up.  Come on Candice!  Everybody knows Hardy Boys is the guys one and Nancy Drew is the girls one!

Too Easy

WNBA’s picture contest is down to its final two.  The one on the left is meh.  The one on the right is… wait, OMG.  First, take your mind out of the gutter.  Yeah, I know its titled “reaching in” but that doesn’t mean that… Oh man, just try to take your mind out of the gutter ok?  No?

You know what?  Nevermind.  I cannot say anything about that second photo.  I just can’t.

Jack Black likes the Sparks.

We don’t have the readership to do a “ruin a poll” like collegehumor does, but everyone go to this poll and vote for jack black. Reason? It’s ridiculous that that photo was included in this contest.

It’s also pretty insane that Candace tackling pienette pierson wasn’t on there, as it would have most assuredly won.

I had some time to kill

so I decided to go back and take a look at our favorite subject in the world.

So how are the Seattle Storm doing?

The Seattle Storm is having a good summer. Attendance is up. New sponsors are on board, and the team is in the playoff hunt with the second-best record in the league.

Sweet! So how much money are they making?

The Storm acknowledges it is losing money, but doesn’t provide specifics of its finances. It sees the lease and its own staff as crucial to its financial health.

Oh.

For its part, the city isn’t raking in much money from the games. There were about 25 Seattle Storm events at KeyArena in calendar year 2007. That includes 17 regular-season games where the city averaged a net income of $111 a game, adding up to a total of about $1,900 in net revenue for the regular season. That compares with an average net income of nearly $5,500 a game for 41 regular season Sonics games, or a total net income for the regular season of about $225,000.

In case you don’t want to read that entire paragraph, “THE CITY AVERAGED A NET INCOME OF $111 A GAME,” for Seattle Storm events.  I made about that much doing a karaoke fund raiser with some people I knew that we spent about 40 minutes planning.

But the city’s support isn’t just about the money. Keeping the Storm at the arena is important in part because the venue’s other major tenant — the Seattle Thunderbirds — is moving to Kent later this year.

So the only other team that uses the arena is leaving.  Hello OKC Storm!!

Storm fans are famously loyal and vocal,

Ain’t that the truth.

Attendance this season is nearly 8,000 a game, up about 5 percent from last year, Bryant said. The team’s goal is to average 8,500 fans a game, which was helped by recent back-to-back home sellouts of 10,000 fans for only the third time in franchise history, Bryant said.

So you are losing money averaging 8,000 fans per game, which is up 5 percent from last year.  Somehow you want to make this team economically viable.  Good luck, you need it (or maybe just move to OKC).

The Storm are losing money.  They POSTED A JOB OPENING ON CRAIGSLIST!! Things don’t appear to be going so great, despite “four incredible women.”

I went searching for some official monetary reports, but couldn’t find them.  I did find multiple old articles about how the WNBA would finally turn a profit. I even found this from an article about David Stern and the WNBA in 2006:

David Stern says the league is on track to turn a small profit next year.

Needless to say this didn’t happen.

Here’s the deal, we love the WNBA, but stop pretending that this thing is definitely gonna work.  It might not.  Why be ashamed about taking money from the NBA?  Who cares?  They give you money for free.  Take it!  Hell Yeah!!  I’m not saying you should stop trying to turn a profit, but maybe the criticism in the comments of that article over at thisisourgame was a little uncalled for.  Admit when you are wrong storm fans!  Your team is still losing money and will probably have to move or fold within a few years (unless you keep taking money from the NBA, which again, is fine.  Of course you have no brother NBA franchise anymore, so the NBA may want to move you to OKC, in which case, you would HAVE to move just to stay around.)

I want an apology from the few anonymous commenters and these guys (which I will pass along to our friends over at This Is Our Game).

How ignorant is this post?

Soooo…..

The shock beat the silverstars.  Hmmmm.

Looks like the West was overrated again.

SOphia Young Doesn’t Understand Basketball Etiquette

Remember, I’m allowed to dislike a player and still like the league.

Sophia Young: defending her terrible game winner…

I don’t know if I “called it,” but I definitely tried to bank it.

If you try to bank it, you call it.  If you try to throw a frozen rope as hard as you can against the backboard with a .01% chance of going in because you are terrible at basketball, then you still call it.  Otherwise everyone just thinks you suck.

It was kind of ugly looking because of L.A.’s good defense… and it was all I could do to fire it in on a line towards the backboard.

This is like when Kobe said something like, “They were throwing double and triple teams at me all game.”  Yeah if by “triple team” you mean “Paul Pierce” (old joke, I know).  Basically, Young wasn’t even guarded on the play.  Check the video.  She just panics and chucks the ball at the hoop.  Lucky as F’n hell.

The worst of this Sophia Young blog post is in the comments.  I realize making fun of blog comments is like shooting fish in a barrel, but I enjoy shooting fish in various barrels.

It’s not all about luck – you’re just being modest and the Sparks could learn a thing or two from the Silver Stars!

Nope, definitely all about luck.  Extreme luck at that.

Great Game Sophia, itwasn’t just a lucky shot, it was destiny!!

Oh boy.  Destiny.  Yup, just like those unlucky yet destinied 2001-2002 Patriots.

My destiny is to one day be a WNBA blogger.  When will it come true!!???/////???!!11?!/!/!/?1/?!

GO SOPHIA!!!!
we all love you and are thankful you are on our team.
you have one thing that LA will never have
Class and sportsmanship

I like Candace Parker’s “class” and “sportsmanship” if you know what I mean.

And by that I mean she has class and illustrates sportsmanship.

What’d you think I meant?

Where are the sane WNBA fans.  Save us devonsmith32!!

Great Game but Lucky Shot. Um hope tonights game does not have the same outcome as yesterday’s game. GO STArs I mean SPARKS.

PWND.  You could be the one and only normal WNBA fan.  Thank you devon.

Ice Ice Baby

Alright, so don’t get me wrong – I realize that I was ever foolish to think that Candice Wiggins was in any way better than Candace Parker. But that doesn’t mean Wiggins isn’t a prolific scorer in her own right, and she’ll make her mark on the WNBA just like she did at Stanford. And apparently, she already has.

Candice Wiggins – affectionately dubbed “Ice” by our favorite women’s basketball star – won the WNBA’s Sixth Woman of the Year Award, which is about as best as she could have hoped for considering Parker wrapped up the Rookie of the Year in the first game of the season. So congrats to Wiggins. This 2008 draft class will be making waves for quite some time.